Women Need Their Husbands to be Saved?

20 April

Women Need Their Husbands to be saved?

Before making my mind up to officially leave the Mormon Church for good I committed much of my time investigating many of the old concerns or a question I had about the Church’s doctrine in the past.  I Googled every tidbit of Mormonism that left a bad taste in my mouth, or a lingering question in my mind. Some of the resources I read were as the Mormons would say “anti-Mormon”, and others were from official Mormon publications, but the most damning information about the Church’s doctrine came from the Bible.

As I was doing my research I was thinking about all I had been taught as a Mormon, I thought about the missionary discussions, my baptism, and about my first experience in the Mormon Temple.  After the endowment ceremony was completed we were instructed to come forward to the veil (a curtain hanging from ceiling to floor), when I first approached the veil I was aware that my husband was behind it.

As I heard his voice through the veil, he reached through and took my hand and led me to the Celestial room.  At the time I didn’t know this part of the ceremony was an assimilation of what would happen when he called me out of the grave in my resurrected body, and would led me to God’s presence.

I was so caught up in trying to remember all the things I learned from the temple ceremony and trying to drink the whole scene in it never crossed my mind that I just learned I would need to have my husband’s acceptance to live in the presence of God.

My research confirmed what I had learned previously in the temple; a Mormon woman needed her husband’s acceptance to become his goddess wife, to be exalted, and to be his female counterpart when he becomes a god of his own world.

Mormonism teaches of the importance for couples to be married and sealed in the Mormon temple. This doctrine is especially important for the women, considering they must have a male priesthood holder to accompany them into the highest level of the Celestial Kingdom.

Mormon Apostle Erastus Snow preached Mormon women must keep themselves “worthy” to have a husband, if not they may be received as a servant by someone else.

“Do the women, when they pray, remember their husbands? Do you uphold your husband before God as your lord? What!-my husband to be my lord? I ask, Can you get into the celestial kingdom without him? Have any of you been there? You will remember that you never go into the celestial kingdom (during the temple ceremony) without the aid of your husband. If you did, it was because your husband was away, and some one had to act proxy for him. No woman will get into the celestial kingdom, except her husband receives her, if she is worthy to have a husband; and if not, somebody will receive her as a servant” (Journal of Discourses, vol. 5, p 291)

When Mormons go through the endowment ceremony for the first time they are given a “new name” and it’s with this new name a Mormon man will “call” is wife from the grave. Knowing they must do their best to be the best wife and mother, all the while keeping themselves worthy and unspotted puts an incredible amount of pressure on the women.

In her Oct 2007 General Conference talk Julie B. Beck gave just a small taste of the pressures Mormon women go through to become acceptable as a goddess wife to their husbands and mother of their spirit children in eternity.

Knowing this it would be no surprise to hear that many women worry if they are doing all they can to be their very best, having “prefect obedience” and faith to the laws and ordinances of the Mormon gospel. I know I worried about my standing as a Mormon wife and mother and never really sharing my feelings knowing I would be told I had to just keep trying to live the gospel the best I could, hardly words of encouragement.

As a Christian I know that women don’t have to hope and pray their husbands will find favor in them and take them to meet God. To say that a woman needs her husband to call her from the grave, to save her, and to resurrect her is blasphemy plain and simple.

In John 5:25 Jesus said- “Verily, verily I say unto you. The hour is coming, and now is when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God: and they that hear shall live.

1 Corinthians 15:52-“In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.”

Psalm 49:7 reads- “None of them can by any means redeem his brother, not gave to God a ransom for him.”

 Those of us who are saved will hear the Lord’s voice.  Jesus purchased us with his blood if we’ve put our trust in him for our salvation we belong to him. Only he has that right to redeem us and to call us forward to meet him. If the Mormon women could just have trust and faith in Jesus Christ they would see this doctrine to be the false teaching it is.

Jesus’ love and atonement is more powerful than any counterfeit Mormon priesthood that has no power over the will and laws of God.

In John 14:6, Jesus says that “no man cometh unto the Father except, but by me”. We do not need the Mormon priesthood, our husbands, or prophets to intercede for us. We can go straight to Jesus whether it’s in prayer or when we die. There should be no one coming between us and our Savior. I pray the Mormon women learn this before it’s too late for them.

Melissa Grimes


1.October 2007 General Conference – Mothers Who Know by Julie B. Beck –  http://lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/mothers-who-know?lang=eng

Bishops and Young Women in the Ward

      Throughout my life as a Mormon I served in many areas of the Church. However, the one place I spent most of my time was in the Young Women’s program. I served as a counselor to the president and then as a Young Women’s president.

Being a teenager at heart helped me to really enjoy serving in this area of the Church. I liked hanging out with the girls, and teaching them the things I believed then would lead them to happiness and exaltation. As I think back now on the times I spent with them I can’t help but feel a twinge of regret and heartache for teaching them what I know now to be false doctrines.

Yesterday I was looking over one of the manuals I taught from which is still in use today, all I could do was shake my head at the things I was reading. In the Young Women’s Manual 2, Lesson 11: Appreciating the Bishop (page 41), I read;

“The bishop presides over every person in the ward and directs their local church activities. … All of your adolescent life you will be under the direction of the bishop. He will appoint teachers and supervisors to do his work, but he will be very much interested in your progress. Your life here will be constantly weighed by him, for he is the judge of your worthiness … to receive higher ordinances, and to be worthy to go to the Temple.” (S. Dilworth Young, More Precious than Rubies [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1959], pp. 40–41).”

At this point I had to stop reading.  I began asking myself questions, and wondering why a man who wasn’t the young girls father, or legal guardian would be allowed to have so much authority over her, authority which doesn’t even belong to him?  It’s the parents who have the God given right and authority to direct, teach, and guide their children on the correct path. As we read in Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it”

In Mormonism the bishop is believed to be the judge of not only her worthiness, but every single member he presides over. He also calls her in for yearly interviews to weigh and measure her life, and above all to make sure she is remaining pure and chaste. I can’t imagine how this would play on the mind of a young woman.

To believe this man who sits behind the desk before her has the power to judge whether or not she is worthy enough in his eyes to attend the temple.  To believe he holds her salvation in his hands and can yank it away anytime he chooses to without provocation. What this man is doing is attempting to rob Jesus of his authority.

Jesus is the only one who has the authority to judge us. Once we have accepted him we belong to him, and no one can snatch us from his hand (John 10:29).

These girls are taught at a very young age before they enter the Young Women’s program how the temple is the ultimate goal for any good, and worthy Mormon. In Young Women’s program this goal is expounded upon even more in their lessons. They dangle the temple in front of the girls as if it were a carrot, in hopes of directing them on the path the church wants them to go on. In turn teaching them they can’t function without the approval of bishop, or another mortal man.

Teaching these girls that their worthiness is determined by a man and not Jesus Christ is very offensive to me.  Mormonism begins at a very early age teaching women to be subservient to men, because he is the one who will judge her. This continues on to her adult life when she learns it’s her husband who will call her from her grave, if he is pleased with her at the second coming.

I truly pray for all the young women and men in Mormon chapels all over the world, I pray they will learn the truth. I pray a Christian friend will have the courage to witness to them of God’s love for them, of his son Jesus Christ, and how only he has the right to judge one’s worthiness.

In Christ,

Melissa Grimes

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10 Responses to “Women Need Their Husbands to be Saved?”

  1. shematwater April 22, 2011 at 4:34 pm #

    You miss the fact that a man cannot get into the Celestial Kingdom without his wife.

    1 Corinthians 11: 11
    Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.

    1 Peter 3: 7
    Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

    You give one quote from Brother Snow who is addressing women, and so it is understandable that he makes no mention of this side of the doctrine. A very one sided representation.

    • lifeafterministry April 23, 2011 at 3:47 am #

      I didn’t miss anything. The point of the article is that the Mormon women think they must have a priesthood holder by their side or they can’t live in the presence of God when they die.

      This is so far from the truth all anyone needs whether they are a man or woman is Jesus Christ, only he has the power to save us and take us to the Father.

      Try again with the Bible verses, no where did they say that the husband and wife need each other to live in the presence of God.

      1 Cor 11:11 is simply saying both men and women are equal in God’s eyes.

      1 Peter 3:7 is giving counsel to the husbands as to how they should treat their wives. They should be understanding, honor their wives and protect them.

      As far as my article being one sided, if I gave quotes by Mormon leaders stated why men and women need other to live in the presence of God, then said only Jesus has the power to led each of us individually to the Father it would hardly prove my point, wouldn’t it?

      The thing is I don’t need to be what you would call fair, I don’t have to give Mormonism the benefit of the doubt and write articles leaving the message open to interpretation so the reader would be left to think “Hey Mormonism doesn’t sound half bad, I don’t agree with all their doctrines, but they still sound Christian to me”.

      At the end of the day I want to write articles that make the Mormon reader think about their religion, to see how far it is from where they want to be. I truly believe the Mormon people love God and want to follow Jesus, the thing is they have a false salvation, and a false religion getting in the way of that everlasting relationship with the real Jesus I believe they desire.

      So pick apart my article if that’s what you want, but I know you don’t need anything or anyone but Jesus Christ to ensure your salvation.

      -Melissa Grimes

  2. shematwater April 25, 2011 at 3:31 pm #

    So what you are saying is that half truths, deceptions, and misrepresentations are just fine as long as it does the job of putting the LDS church and its doctrine in the worst light you could possibly devise.

    Great strategy, but would not this constitute baring a false witness?

    The idea that the ends justify the means is a slap in the face of Christ, who never once sinned, even if the goal would have been more easily attained in doing so.

    You have basically admitted that you cannot fulfill your purpose by being honest. What does that say about your purpose?

    • lifeafterministry April 25, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

      What’s a half truth? The truth plain and simple is that Jesus is all anyone needs anyone needs to live with the Father after they die. Mormonism has it wrong when it implies that men and women need each other to live with God. What you call bearing false witness I call shedding light on a very dark and despicable Mormon Doctrine.

      Throughout history Mormonism has oppressed women, why is it that a single woman must be sealed to a Mormon priesthood holder or she can’t live in the presence of God, all the while men can be sealed to as many women has they desire?

      In an attempt to justify the unbiblical doctrine of the husband being the one leading his wife to the presence of God you missed the point of the article. Jesus is the only one who has the right and privileged of leading his followers to the Father.

      Single and even married women don’t have to fret or worry because they’re not married to a “worthy priesthood holder”, nor do they have to hope they’ll be taken as a wife by a man who’s already married just so they can make it to the Celestial Kingdom.

      The Mormon Church needs to stop preparing men to become gods, and teaching the women to be good little Stepford wives, and start preaching the real gospel of Jesus Christ, because they’re not going to live in the Father’s presence without him. – Melissa Grimes

  3. shematwater April 26, 2011 at 5:11 am #

    The half-truth is that your article never once mentions the need of men to have a woman accept them as ligitamate and worthy companions to gain eternal life.
    No, you never give a half truth concerning your belief, but your entire article and argument is based on the half truth that is stated in your titled. If you were going to tell the whole truth you would have mentioned the dual need of men and women, and not have singled out the one side while completely ignoring the other.

    You say “why is it that a single woman must be sealed to a Mormon priesthood holder or she can’t live in the presence of God, all the while men can be sealed to as many women has they desire?”

    Let us examine this.
    It could just as easily be asked why a single man must be sealed to a woman.
    Secondly, many single people will be in the Celestial Kingdom, and thus in the Presence of the Father. Marriage is not required for this, only baptism. It is exaltation that requires marriage. As you claim to be a former member I must conclude that this is another example of willful misrepresentation.
    Thirdly, a man cannot be sealed to as many women as he desires. A man must be worthy to take a second wife, and must have the concent of the first (with few exceptions). This is clearly taught in D&C 132, and thus this also looks like a willful misrepresentation of LDS doctrine.

    Your entire argument is based on the idea that women are oppressed and that men have the right to subject them as slaves. This is a false idea that will lead many to damnation in eternity.
    When the truth of the dotrine (the whole truth, not just half) is known there is no oppression and the need of women to have a worthy husband is equal to the need of a man to have a worthy wife.
    However, as you have stated, actually giving this information “would hardly prove [your] point, wouldn’t it?”

    • lifeafterministry April 30, 2011 at 2:27 pm #

      “Secondly, many single people will be in the Celestial Kingdom, and thus in the Presence of the Father. Marriage is not required for this, only baptism.”

      Yet the ultimate goal for the temple worthy Mormon is living in the highest level of the Celestial Kingdom.

      According to D&C 131:1-4 there are three “sub-degrees” of the highest kingdom, there we read:

      “In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees; And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]; And if he does not, he cannot obtain it. He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase.”

      In order of men to get into this level they must take a wife, so naturally women must follow their husband there.

      During the recent General Conference in April Richard G. Scott spoke a little about temple marriage in his talk he said:

      “I feel sorry for any man who hasn’t yet made the choice to seek an eternal companion, and my heart weeps for the sisters who haven’t had the opportunity to marry. Some of you may feel lonely and unappreciated and cannot see how it will be possible for you to have the blessings of marriage and children or your own family. All things are possible to the Lord, and He keeps the promises He inspires His prophets to declare. Eternity is a long time. Have faith in those promises and live to be worthy of them so that in His time the Lord can make them come true in your life. With certainty, you will receive every promised blessing for which you are worthy.”

      Clearly to Elder Scott believes any faithful Mormon who wants a spouse in the Celestial Kingdom will receive one. As you know there will be no non-members in the highest kingdom. Knowing eternal marriage is what their god commands no worthy church member would refuse the opportunity to be married, even if that meant they weren’t the first wife.

      So in the end according to Mormonism we have both men and women who aren’t able to live with God without each other, and blood Jesus shed for them on the cross isn’t enough to give them eternal life with the Father. How incredibly sad. 🙁 – Melissa Grimes

  4. handmaiden May 28, 2011 at 6:05 pm #

    I find that this article carries great weight to all those women, and men alike, who are so blind sided by the Oooo and Ahhh over the temple and being a forever family that the meat of the matter gets totally pushed under the carpet.
    The thought that Jesus Christ has nothing to do with a woman’s saving grace is an evil deception on the part of men.
    Men can get to heaven (the highest kingdom) by marriage, either in this life or the next, however, a women must be married and accepted by the husband even to be risen from the grave. If the thought of a husband will be chosen for a women in the here after is a joke. The woman will never even get out of her grave.
    Mormonism has one of the biggest veils lies that could have ever been placed on all of mankind.
    God bless you in your ministry.

  5. gloria June 14, 2011 at 1:19 am #

    Melissa ~~ I loved this post!! Jesus is all we need — we don’t need a husband to be saved or to live eternally with God. Jesus purchased us with His blood. He is enough!

    So glad to be OUT,


  6. lifeafterministry June 16, 2011 at 5:04 am #

    Thank you for you kind words ladies they mean a lot. I too am so thankful too be out. Mormonism truly does hang up the veil that Jesus torn down. – Melissa Grimes

  7. Kim September 27, 2015 at 7:02 pm #

    I am sorry that you feel like you’ve been deceived by the church, and toy certainly have every right to make your own choices. But let me ask you this: Do you believe the scriptures when they say “if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God”? And if so, was that at all part of your studies when you came to this conclusion? Often, when someone has doubts about things like this, they may miss a detail, or misunderstand the information given. Did you ever pray to God and ask him if your belief is correct?

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