I wasn’t born into the Mormon Church; I was actually born and dedicated into a loving Christian church and family.  When I was 5 and my brother was 8 my Mother left my Dad for another man who was Mormon.  Because it wasn’t common practice in the 70’s for Dad’s to fight for custody we lived with our Mother.  I was baptized into the church when I was 8 and so was my Brother.  We thought that we were happier because of the church.  On the outside we were a very strong Mormon family.

My mother was Primary president, and then Relief society President.  We went to church every Sunday, and when ever the church was open.  On the inside our family was full of strife and confusion.  My Step Father was abusive mentally to my Brother and I, and was dotting on my 1/2 sister and 2 1/2 brothers.  My parents fought all the time, and I know that he hit my Mother on many occasions.  He couldn’t be on any high offices because he had been in prison for a while.

My Dad in the mean time was going to seminary to become a pastor.  Boy was my life confusing.  When we would visit him we would go to the Christian Church that he was assistant pastor at.  We still talked and had our MormonTemple color books and our scriptures.  When I was in jr high my Mother and Step Father divorced, and my Mother was raising 5 kids on her own.  She gave me the choice of where I wanted to live.  She really pushed for me to move in with my Dad and Step Mother.  When I was 15 I went to Colorado from California and lived with my Dad.  That is when I gave my heart to Jesus.  I felt I had to give it to him more than once because I didn’t feel I was worthy enough.  All of the years of being told the Mormon church is the only true church really confused me later in life.  I am now 38 and haven’t been in a Mormon church since I was 15, I am finally getting my name out of the church and totally renouncing the Mormon church from my life.  It is such a freeing experience.  I feel I no longer have the chain around my ankle, I can finally go walk with out being tied to the Mormon Church any more.

Tanya W.