Unequally Yoked

22 April

God is so good to us.  Just as a loving father takes his children by the hand to cross the street our Father in heaven tells us what is safe in life by providing us with His word.  All He ever wants is to love us and in so doing provides the way for us to be living life the way He intended for it to be.

     I’ve dealt with families and their children on the issue of being unequally yoked since 1994.  It has never ceased to amaze me the lengths a parent will go to in order to keep their child from joining a cult like Mormonism.  The panic and grief in their hearts are a heavy burden indeed.  When I hear the pain in their voice I always wonder how God must feel.  Typically we see 5-6 new families a month with the same problem and the only things that differ in their stories are their names and place of residence.  For individual reasons (usually hormonal) the young Christian has decided their Mormon friend isn’t like the other 13 million Mormons in the world.  I can assure the reader, nothing could be further from the truth.

     Below are 25 scriptures we’ve found in the Bible with God’s warning to us why we should not be unequally yoked.  One of the best visuals for us can be found in Deuteronomy 22:10 when God warns the Israelites not to work the fields with an ox tied to a donkey on the same yoke.

     It is cruel to yoke together two incompatible workers; it’s an ineffective use of time and results in nothing but a mess in the fields.  One website defines being unequally yoked this way:  “…a mark of a yoke is that it constrains someone; it does not permit independent action.  There is something that forces you to comply with what the other one wants to do, whether you like it or not.  Any kind of relationship that does not permit a believer to follow his or her Lord in all things is a yoke.  Even a friendship can be a yoke.” (1)

     Based on anatomical differences alone the ox will work the hardest while the donkey suffers the most, and if that wasn’t enough, they also think and act differently as well. The same can obviously be said for people.  The person raised in a Christian home typically knows enough of scripture to identify truth from a lie.

     An example of this is when the Christian who knows the Bible to be the inspired word of God is married to or dating a Mormon who doesn’t believe the Bible can be trusted.  The Christian’s been taught that God is spirit (John 4:24) while the Mormon believes God is an exalted man.  In fact, every single truth in the Bible has been turned on its proverbial head in the doctrines of Mormonism.  There isn’t one doctrine in Mormonism that is theologically correct.  I’ve studied Mormonism for 46 years now and can promise you this is the truth.

     There will never be a full agreement between the two parties and this is not how the Lord God intended for covenant relationships to be.  When a saved person is being groomed by a member of the Mormon Church, the characteristics of the Christian typically become withdrawn, sullen and elusive around friends and loved ones.

     What used to be an “outgoing Clara” suddenly becomes a sullen woman whom no one  recognizes any longer.  The best analogy for this is the beaten woman syndrome.  Now listen, I am not stating that Mormon men beat up on their girlfriends or wives.  That is not a characteristic of Mormonism.  That is a personal problem of the offender.  Ironically, the outcomes of both are the same.

     What happens is that the Christian slowly withdraws from functions with and around other Christians.  The conflicting doctrine being swallowed by the Christian will cause confusion and after awhile the atmosphere of clear thinking is gone.  They are told by the Mormon that outsiders won’t understand where they’re coming from and the contention between the Christian and their loved ones stands as proof the Mormon Church is the “only true Church on the face of the earth”.

     Look, no one likes being told they’re wrong.  It’s in our prideful human nature to protect our ego and when everyone around you is saying you’re wrong you’ll be looking for the first person who agrees with your way of thinking.

     The old saying “there is safety in numbers” could never be truer than in this situation.  Make sure you have two or three Christian friends whom you can rely upon and share your experiences with.  You’ll be teaching your friends the things of God and vice versa.  This is a good way to have accountability in your peers’ eyes.

     For the Christian who is contemplating membership in the LDS Church, think back to time before you began hanging out with the Mormons.

Have you stopped wearing your cross necklace or taken the cross down from the walls in your home?

How was your relationship with your parents, siblings, and friends?

Were you always in a defensive mode?

Were you always on guard?

Did you always feel like you had to hide the truth about your Christian
church?  Do you now?

Are you openly sharing the teachings of your new church?

Have your habits changed?

Have your eating or sleeping habits changed?

Do you feel nervous or on edge?

Do you still hang out with your Christian friends on a regular basis?

When was the last time youcalled them asking to hang out or just talk?

What about your music choices, have they changed?

Has your prayer life and prayer language changed?

Are you folding your arms during every prayer?  If so why?  Give biblical proof why this is “proper or reverent”.

Has your vocabulary changed?  How many words have different meanings now that you’re attending the Mormon Church?

Does your Mormon friend encourage listening to Christian radio or visiting Christian bookstores?

What about God?  How is your relationship with Him?  Be honest with yourself and God.

How many times have you chosen to lie to your loved ones about anything to do with your new church?

For girls:  when was the last time you wore a pair of pants/jeans or sandals to church on Sunday?  Have you stopped wearing two pairs of earrings if you have double piercings?

For guys:  when was the last time you went to church on Sunday without wearing a tie and slacks?  Have you stopped wearing earrings if your ears are pierced?

     When I got saved I was almost 30 years old.  From the age of 18 until my day of salvation life was one continuous party and I could’ve made a sailor blush with my vocabulary.  (I had obviously rejected the precepts of Mormonism.)  The day I got saved God supernaturally changed me through His Holy Spirit and I didn’t want to behave in the same manner.  There are marked character changes within us when we accept the Lord into our lives.

However, that change does not and should not include shunning beloved family and friends out of your life.   

1 John 3:14-15 tells us how we can know who our brothers are in Christ; “We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death.  15 Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.”

     This passage gives us insight and proof the Mormon Church does not promote a healthy relationship between their organization and other denominations.  For further insight of how the LDS Church feels about the body of Christ read our article on the Great Apostacy according to Mormonism.  

Your personality is enhanced in a godly way when you accept the true God of the Bible into your heart as it glorifies God, not diminishes loved ones around you.  If any of the questions above fit your new lifestyle there is something wrong.  Ask God to give you strength to turn back to Him and ask your Christian family/friends for help.  He will forgive you and so will they! 

     The way you behave, eat, drink, dress, speak and think is diametrically opposed to the Mormon lifestyle.  Christians are taught to listen to God through reading His word, gaining counsel from your pastors, parents and friends and to think for yourself.

     Mormons are taught to only listen “to the prophet’s voice” because “the thinking has been done” for them.  Your little “quirky independent behavior” as a Christian will not last long in the world of Mormonism.  Every single action you participate in with the Church will be determined by the bishop (pastor) of the local Mormon ward/branch (congregation).

     You will be told when to go to church and where.  You’ll be told how to dress, what to eat and drink, what to study and when.  You only serve on the worship team or child care when the bishop calls to let you know they have an opening that needs to be filled (btw – there are no worship teams as you know them in Mormonism).  Everything in life is controlled by the Church.

     Joining the Mormon Church is a bigger mistake than just buying a lemon of a car at the dealership.  Every single thing in your life will be affected.  This alone should be a huge warning this is not from God.  And if you think it is okay just to date someone in the Mormon Church, but not marry them then may I suggest what I always told my daughters?  The longer you subject your spirit to those around you, the more you adopt that person’s personality and behavior.  Don’t ever date anyone you’re not willing to marry.

Deut. 7:3-4;Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.  4 For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.

Deut. 22:10;Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together.

Nehemiah 13:25-26; And I contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, Ye shall not give your daughters unto their sons, nor take their daughters unto your sons, or for yourselves.  26 Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin.

Proverbs 11:14; Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Proverbs 12:26; The righteous is more excellent than his neighbour: but the way of the wicked seduceth them.

Proverbs 13:20; He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

Proverbs 14:6; A scorner seeketh wisdom, and findeth it not: but knowledge is easy unto him that understandeth.

Proverbs 15:22; Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.

Proverbs 19:20; Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.

Proverbs 19:27; Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that causeth to err from the words of knowledge.

Proverbs 24:5; A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increaseth strength.

Proverbs 27:17; Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

Matthew 10:37-38;He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

Luke 9:59-62;And he said unto another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.  60 Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God.  61 And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house.  62 And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.

John 17:15; I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil.

Romans 16:17; Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.

1 Cor. 7:39;The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

1 Cor. 8:10;For if any man see thee which hast knowledge sit at meat in the idol’s temple, shall not the conscience of him which is weak be emboldened to eat those things which are offered to idols.”

1 Cor. 10:14;Wherefore, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry.

1 Cor. 15:33; Be not deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits.

2 Cor. 6:14, 17-18;Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness…” – ? and what communion hath light with darkness? 17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, 18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

Phil. 3:2; Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers …

2 Thess. 3:6; Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.

James 4:4-5; “…friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. 5Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose…

1 John 2:9-11; He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now. He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him.11 But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes.

1 John 3:15, 4:20-21; Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?  21 And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.

Samples of letters from those who are dealing with this problem:

As I live day to day with my LDS husband, there is a real sad void in our lives in regard to our spiritual lives together. It is difficult for us to just “talk” about doctrine, etc. as you well know…He is so defensive of the church, and I admit that, in recent months, I have been down and felt so defeated. I find that I am not even praying for him as I should. I know that this is the enemy’s weapon, and I know this is truly spiritual warfare…There have even been days when I have thought it would be better for us to just part ways as our differences seem to really affect our true closeness.  I would welcome any Christian counsel or advice he has told me a number of times that he accepts truth wherever he finds it. However, it just doesn’t seem like he really means it-esp. if it disagrees with what he has been taught. I apologize for being so lengthy, but I have such a heavy heart, and I appreciate your listening. Would you please continue to pray for him and for me that I not give up hope.”Name withheld by request

Greetings, 

I am a born again believer married to a non active member of the LDS Church. Life is hard. I suppose God did not warn his people against being unequally yoked for nothing. My only hope now is that good will come from this and He will give me the strength to stand up for what I believe no matter what the consequence… His parents have often asked me to pray at the dinner table and I have felt so inadequate and in constant wonder of whom it is they are truly praying to…Your website has been a source of great comfort as well as a wealth of information.  God bless you for your ministry and love for the Mormon people!

 Love in Christ, H.

 Hello Michelle:

I’m ______who was the e-mailer to Thor Tolo’s show today… My family and I want to thank you for praying for us on air.  _____ and I are the parents who found out from our daughter’s roommate that our daughter wants to convert to Mormonism.  I do have questions about how to treat her, especially since she’s 18.  We found about this only 8 days ago … so we’re still raw in our grief.  She’s choosing to walk away from lifelong teachings AND her very close family, and we simply miss HER and the person she was.  It’s also shocking to discover that our formerly truthful and obedient girl is now deceptive with us in order to chase after this Church.  I can’t help thinking that she was never saved or she COULDN’T be sucked into these beliefs that run contrary to every hymn she has sung, every verse she has memorized, every concept she’s been taught.  Instead, her ears seem literally shut… – Name withheld by request

With Love in Christ; Michelle

michelle@lifeafter.org

1 Cor. 1:18

Leading Mormons to the Real Jesus Christ

1. From the writings of Ray Stedman, The Power of His Presence, Daily
Devotionals.

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