In the spring of ’92 I was expecting my third child in four years and wondering how many more babies I’d have to give birth to before the Mormon god would accept me. Half way through my pregnancy I went out for a walk with my 14 month old daughter Jacqui and noticed a couple of women about my age standing outside chatting with each other.
As I got closer I saw one of the women wearing a cross necklace. I thought of it as another opportunity to find out more about the all elusive cross that as a Mormon I was told not to worry about and directly told not to have in our homes.
The questions I asked Nancy set into motion the things I should have done years before. It had been a long road for me in the eleven years between the time I left Utah and Seattle. I had traveled the world, lived in many places throughout the states and quite frankly, I was tired. I was tired of trying to live up to the demands of what I had learned in my Mormon life of what it meant to go to heaven.
On the remainder of my walk home that day I thought about Joseph Smith and whether or not I could accept him as a true prophet of God. I also thought about the Book of Mormon I had stashed away in a box out in the garage. Thoughts of becoming an eternally pregnant goddess wife with a polygamous husband were teachings of the Church I had doubted for quite awhile. I also wondered what being tarred and feathered in 1832 and Joseph’s death in a gunfight had done for me.
I decided to get the Book of Mormon out of its box to sit down and compare it with the King James Bible I had received when I got baptized at the age of eight. Nothing in either book convinced me that my suspicions about the Church were right so I started digging deeper. Keep in mind I didn’t know how to use a Bible either so it really didn’t help me out that much in the initial stages.
My investigation took me to the writings of the Church that weren’t found in my 3-in-1 (a compilation of “scriptural” works published by the LDS Church.) All I wanted was to make sure I could follow Jesus and get to heaven. I knew my investigating wasn’t what the Church would want me to do, but I wanted God more than Joe Smith.
Within the week I told myself I’d read the book the “evil guy from GodMakers” wrote. I had seen the film back in 1983 when I lived in Oklahoma City. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t imagining anything and I half wanted to prove that guy wrong even though I didn’t agree with everything in Mormonism. I drove 30 miles out of town to ensure no Mormons could see me buying his book even though I didn’t know any Mormons where I lived. God certainly has a sense of humor; I began working with Ed in the spring of ’94!
I brought the GodMakers book home and started reading the references he gave in the 3-in-1 and Bible. I made charts, I went to the library to look at Greek dictionaries and history books he gave references for and I finally accepted an invitation to go to church with Nancy. It had been ten months since I met her on my walk with Jacqui. By this time our daughter Axi was five months old.
I finally discovered the salvation I had been looking for wasn’t in any of the Mormon books I kept reading, i.e. Gospel Doctrine, or in any of the good things I kept doing. The salvation I finally found came from a man I’d never known who willingly hung on a cross on my behalf and gave His very life so I wouldn’t have to give up mine.
My beehive syndrome was put to rest at long last and I “got saved” when I was thirty years old. No amount of baptisms for the dead, giving birth to babies or attending Relief Society meetings provided me with the relationship I was always in search of – only God did that.
I pray that if you’re a member of the LDS Church you would know the true love God has for you! Below is part of a power point presentation I give when teaching on Mormonism. It’s a side by side chart comparing Christian salvation to Mormon salvation.
If you, as a Mormon, find anything in any of my references that is incorrect I hope you’ll contact me. I don’t want to be wrong. If you’re angry, I understand because I was madder than a wet hen. I hated it when people would question the Church and took it as a direct insult to my heritage. The thing is though – both sides can’t be right. It’s either one or the other. I know as a Mormon I loved Jesus, but what I didn’t know is that he’s the wrong Jesus. The Jesus of Mormonism isn’t the same Jesus of the Bible.
If you’re Mormon know I pray for you every single day of my life and want for you to know that you can have the peace God tells you about in the Bible. Hope to hear from you soon!
With Love in Christ;
1 Cor. 1:18
|Acts 4:12; “Neither is there salvation in any other; for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.”||D&C 132:7 & Mormon Doctrine 411; “The President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds the keys of salvation for all men…”|
|Eph. 2:8-9; “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.”||2 Nephi 25:23; “…for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do”.|
|Hebrews 10:11-12; “And every priest standeth daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever, sat down on the right hand of God.”||D&C 76:52; “That by keeping the commandments they might be washed and cleansed from all their sins…”Moroni 10:26; “And wo unto them who shall do these things away and die, for they die in their sins, and they cannot be saved in the kingdom of God.”|
|1 Cor. 15:29; “Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead?”||D&C 128:15; “…let me assure you that these are principles in relation to thedead and the living that cannot be lightly passedover, as pertaining to our salvation. For theirsalvation is necessary and essential to our salvation…”|
|Mark 12:23-25; “In the resurrection therefore, when they shall rise, whose wife shall she be of them? for the seven had her to wife. 24 And Jesus answering said unto them, Do ye not therefore err, because ye know not the scriptures, neither the power of God? 25 For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.”||Gospel Through the Ages, pgs. 119-120; “Marriage is not only a righteous institution, but obedience to this law is absolutely necessary in order to obtain the highest exaltation in the Kingdom of God.”|
|Revelation 3:20;“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”||Joseph Smith: The Choice Seer, Epilogue;“Because of Joseph Smith, we have a hope born of the Spirit and strengthened by prophetic declaration that the faithfulness of parents to their temple covenants can secure their children everlastingly… Ours is the song of praise to the man ordained from eternity past to part the veil and open the heavens, for through him the fulness of truth and the fulness of priesthood powers have come to earth again.”|
|Mark 10:25-27;“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. 26 And they were astonished out of measure, saying among themselves, Who then can be saved? 27 And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.”||Mormon Doctrine, pg. 670;“Full salvation is attained by virtue of knowledge, truth, righteousness, and all true principles. Many conditions must exist in order to make such salvation available to men…If it had not been for Joseph Smith and the restoration, there would be no salvation. There is no salvation outside The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (Doctrines of Salvation, vol. 2, pp. 1-350.)”|
|Psalm 37:39; “But the salvation of the righteous is from the LORD; He is their strength in time of trouble.”||Discourses of Wilford Woodruff: page 23; “If I ever obtain a full salvation it will be by my keeping the laws of God.”|
|Mark 12:28-31; “And one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, and perceiving that he had answered them well, asked him, Which is the first commandment of all? 29 And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: 30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. 31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.”||Ensign, November 1981, pg. 104; “Since the beginning, a woman’s first and most important role has been ushering into mortality spirit sons and daughters of our Father in Heaven.” – Ezra Taft Benson|
|Romans 5:8; “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”||Miracle of Forgiveness, pg. 166; “The Lord cannot save men in their sins but only from their sins, and that only when they have shown true repentance.” – Spencer W. Kimball|